Friday, 16 March 2012

And a Happy St Patrick's Day to you all, begorra.

Did you know?

St. Patrick was born in Britain and lived there until he was a teenager.  He went to Ireland as a Christian Missionary, after having previously been a prisoner of the Irish for six years from the age of 16.
 He is believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D.

A "Don't mess with old ladies" joke

Two businessmen in the centre of Perth were sitting down for a break
in their soon-to-be new shop...

As  yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now someone is going to walk by,
 put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old
woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked
"What are you selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically,
"We're selling  ass-holes."
  Without  skipping a beat, the old dear said,
"Must be doing well...only two left!"

Travelling companion

If you look REALLY carefully, you'll see a huntsman spider on my bonnet. I'd been travelling for over an hour before he came crawling up towards the windscreen. Just after I took the photo, he went back down over the front of the bonnet. I'm having my car serviced next week, so I'd better warn the mechanics, in case he's in the motor somewhere.

A funny from the internet

 I've learned....

That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

Very old stuff

While sorting through a box of old stuff from my parent's house, I found this receipt from the place they stayed on their honeymoon!  I'm planning to use it for the front of a card for their anniversary next month.  They were married on Friday 13th April, and the 13th is a Friday again this year.


A St Patrick's Day riddle

What did the Irishman say when he walked into the bar?    "Ouch!"

Friday, 2 March 2012

Better late than never.

Quotes on aging

"When we were young, you made me blush,
go hot and cold and turn to mush.
I still feel all these things, it's true -
but is it menopause, or you?"     anon

"By the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes
 if you've lived your life properly."     Ronald Reagan, 76

"To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. 
 She can't wait to disprove it."    Cary Grant  72

A visitor in our garden

We often have carpet pythons drop in to visit.  This was the latest.

A great website for exercising your laughter muscles

The Funny Farm

One of the jokes from the Funny Farm site.

Short shorts

Mark was stunned.  Beth had just told him she was pregnant. At her age!  And he was only 17.  His life was ruined.  What would his mates say?  Of course it was unplanned.  He stormed out of the house, and went for a long walk to get his mind around the idea.  When he returned, he apologised to Beth, and said it probably wouldn't be too bad at all having a baby brother or sister.

The intruder
They heard the noise first; then they saw the shadowy figure in the doorway.  It almost filled the door space.  As they looked at each other, Thomas whispered "Do I see what I think I see?"  Clair nodded, afraid to make a sound.  Thomas rose carefully from his chair, walking reluctantly towards the door.  As he did so, he turned towards Claire, saying "I'll walk Neddy back to the stable and make sure his door is properly closed."

And last but not least:

My latest soaps, influenced by my little dog's marking.  I call them "Pepper's Patch".